Nowadays, even elderly people lead an active life - they travel and continue doing the things they enjoyed in their youth, including sex. It is generally known that all ages are submissive to love. Intimacy is usually a follow-up of romantic feelings.

Both men and women wish to continue fulfilling relationships at any age. A healthy sex life has a positive influence on all aspects of our life, including our physical health and self-esteem.

Although cinema and television are persistently trying to convince us that only teenagers and young people have sex, mildly speaking it is not true. The need for intimacy does not disappear with the years. It is impossible to “outgrow” a need for love, emotional closeness and intimacy. Most people still have sexual fantasies at the age of 80 and 90.

It is true that the sex at 80 is not the same as it was at 20, but it does not really mean that sex life of the elderly can no longer be satisfying and enjoyable. It will be easier for you to prepare yourself for possible problems in sex life if you understand age-related changes that happen in your body and in the body of your partner.

Natural age-related changes

As you know, your body grows older and simply "wears out"; and these natural age-related changes can affect your sexual relations. Although physical changes are usually the most discussed issue, you should not forget about the psychological changes your body undergoes.

Physical changes

Testosterone regulates both men's and women's sex drive (libido). Aging men and women produce enough testosterone to maintain their interest in sex. Even though some aspects of sex will cause more difficulties as you age, these changes offer an incentive to try new positions and techniques.

Age-related physical changes in women's organisms are generally connected with menopause and decreased levels of estrogen. Most women have less vaginal lubrication as they get older and it takes longer for the vagina to lubricate during sexual arousal. Your vagina becomes less elastic. All these changes may make your sexual intercourse less comfortable or even painful. In addition to that, women can feel burning pain and during penetration or discover vaginal bleeding after a sexual intercourse.

In order to stimulate your natural vaginal lubrication, it is helpful to make foreplay a focus. Another solution to this problem is the usage of water-based sexual lubricants, such as K-Y jelly, conjugated estrogen creams or estrogen replacement therapy. Regular sex helps to maintain lubrication and elasticity of the vagina. Long-term sexual abstinence can cause the loss of vaginal elasticity, so it may take some time to stretch vagina to accept a penis. Talk to your partner about slower movements in order to minimize your pain.

Psychological changes

Maintaining your ability to have sex at elderly age depends not only on your body, but also on your mind. If you feel embarrassed or ashamed of your sexual needs, anxiety and stress can have a negative impact on your ability to become aroused. Age-related changes in your appearance may also influence your emotional sincerity and the ability to have sexual relations. The more wrinkles and grey hairs you notice, the less self-esteem you have. You do not feel attractive. Negative self-feeling restrain your sexual desire, as you feel unworthy of sexual attention from your partner and do not trust him.

Stresses and worries about sexual performance and possible failures can provoke male impotence (Erectile dysfunction) and female frigidity (sexual arousal disorder). Slow down and you will be able to avoid emotional pressure.

Discuss this topic with your partner and tell him about your worries and anxiety. His or her support will help you to boost your confidence up.

How to improve your sex life, as you age

Many elderly people consider their current sex life to be richer than in their youth. They are sure that sex gets better with age, as good wine. Improving your sex life requires talking with your partner about sex problems and fantasies, and making changes in your sex program.

Expand your conception of sex

Sex is not just a series of physical exercises for your satisfaction. Sex is more than a vaginal penetration. When getting older, many people begin appreciating intimate talks before and after sex, which make a sexual intercourse more interesting. Sexual petting can be a good alternative to the intercourse, and caressing, even simple cuddling, can lead to an orgasm (recollect the movie "Last Tango in Paris"). Think about erotic massage, masturbation or oral sex.

Communicate with your partner more often.

Nothing can bring you closer to your partner as communication. Discuss the changes you are going through to understand how to do away with discomfort and make your sex life better. A different position or some other sexual activity, such as massage or cuddling might become a solution. Question your partner about his or her needs and fantasies, and think over how you can satisfy them. The discussion of sex issues itself is arousing and can become a wonderful foreplay.

Make changes to your sex routine

Simple changes can improve your sex life. Fix a different time for sex; choose a time when you feel more energetic. Try making love in the morning, when you feel refreshed after a night sleep and do not postpone sex to the end of a long day, when you are tired and exhausted. As it may take longer for you to become aroused, take more time to set a romantic stage, e.g. a romantic dinner, an evening party for two or dancing. Try new sexual positions; do not stick to a missionary position. Find a position, which is comfortable for you and your partner.

Manage your expectations

If you did not have a frequent sex in your early days, you should not expect to become a "sex-machine" in your middle life. Maybe you were used to expressing your intimacy in other ways, such as an absorbing conversation. If that is the case, the situation will be the same when you become older. Couples who enjoyed frequent sex when they were younger are more likely to continue that as they age.

Your health is in your hands

A healthy diet and regular sport exercises help you stay in good shape. As a result, you will be fit and prepared for sex at any age. Try keeping a balanced diet, rich in fruit and vegetables. Exercise regularly, at least 30 minutes a day, on every day of the week. Drink less alcohol, as it decreases sexual potency at both men and women. Illegal drugs, such as marijuana and cocaine, have a negative impact on sexual functions, too.

If you do not have a sexual partner, it does not really mean you should give up sex for lost. More then a half of people over 65 are single in the US. Even at this age you can fins a new love or experience a new romance that will lead to intimacy. Women live longer than men. That is why there are more single women in the world, and it is quite difficult to find a partner for them at a mature age. Try visiting such places where it is possible to meet people of your age, such as special geriatric centers and stores. It is never late to start a new relationship.

Do not forget about safe sex when you have a new sex partner. Many elderly couples ignore this rule as they are sure they are not at risk of venereal diseases, including AIDS. Contrary to a popular belief, AIDS is not a disease of young people. In the United States of America more than 10 percent of AIDS-infected are people over 50. Every sexually active person, regardless of their age, can contract a venereal disease. Do not change your sex partner or practice safe sex by using condoms. Discuss the opportunities of being tested for HIV with your sexual partner. Elderly people take a HIV tests quite seldom

Consult your doctor

Elderly people feel embarrassed to discuss sex issues with their doctors. However, such conversations can help you to understand age-related changes of your body and mind, and their influence on your sexual activity.