Loss of libido is a common problem. However, not everyone tries to solve it. Not taken seriously, reduced interest in making love can definitely poison your life… What does loss of libido mean? Is it lack of interest in sexual relations, or the inability to reach orgasm? Reduced sex drive can result from physical conditions and pathological issues. Such factors as sex constitution of a patient, his or her age, psychoemotional condition and hormonal status are important when making a diagnosis. Low libido is, in the first place, loss of interest in sexual relations. At the same time some physiological responses can remain, e.g. morning or even spontaneous erection, individual at any separate case. When a person has sexual arousal, and can even reach an orgasm, feeling at the same time no sexual interest, can we call it loss of libido? No, this is another case of sexual desire. Sometimes it can be one sign of pornophilia – addiction to the pornography. A lot of men, who regularly use Internet, have such problems.

In what cases low libido can be treated as a serious disorder? The possible causes of a pathological form of reduced sexual desire are disorders in organ systems in the human body. Low libido is a symptom, just like a temperature, of an illness that should be healed. The situation is more difficult when there is no pathology. Different people treat their health in different ways. Some people with lung cancer continue smoking; avoid consulting a doctor, choosing to numb the pain with alcohol. At the same time other people visit their dentist every half a year without any signs of toothache. Regular sexual life is an index of good health state and the most pleasant form to keep fit. Nobody has died from lack of sex. But I can list probable consequences of long abstinence: myoma, mastopathy, and adenoid tumor. Some people consider reduced sex desire to be a serious problem, while others take it easy. From my own point of view, the second case means that a person deprives himself of full sexual life.

Daria Alexandrova - LIZA. source: 500px.com

Is low libido a frequent complaint among the patients? 50 Percent of patients who seek help from sexologists complain on reduced sex drive. The signs of low libido include anorgasmia (lack of orgasms), vaginismus (fear of sexual intercourse), sexual and psychological disorders. How one can treat the problem? It depends on a person, each case is individual. Pathogenetic treatment deals with causes. A comprehensive approach includes the analysis of life style, psychohygiene, relations. Roles of partners, as well as their erogenous zones are thoroughly studied; a system of “sex launching” is developed; a course of special physical exercises and physiotherapy is prescribed. Pharmacotherapy and psychotherapeutic methods are wide-spread. Such approach shows success rates at 80–90%. According to the common opinion, disorders with sex drive are mostly female problems. What do you think, who is more subject to it – men or women? Considering that a male hormone testosterone is responsible for sexual health and sex drive, libido level in men should be higher than in women. But from my point of view, reduced libido levels in comparison with a norm in men and women are approximately equal. However, in the last 15 years the representatives of the stronger sex have started to lose their positions, especially in large cities. Which “norm” is that than?

Andrew Lucas - Gold Rain. source: 500px.com

The conventional physiological rhythm implies the wish and the ability to have sexual intercourse 2 or 3 times a week in favorable conditions. However, the fluctuations are possible. Sexual desire is influenced by a wide range of factors, e.g. illnesses; sleep disorders; chronic mental exhaustion; novelty of relations. Are there any connections between loss of libido and way of life? The principle is: worse is less and vice versa; but, of course, the norms of your age and constitution should not be exceeded. What are main causes of the problem for both men and women? Regular sexual routine contributes to a lack of sexual desire in men, when his partner turns into “mother” or “friend” instead of being a lover. Quite often my female patients are sure that their husbands have disorders and cannot perform their masculine duties. Therefore they are trying to solve the problem with the medical help; while the true cause is Internet and masturbation.

The most common causes of sexual dysfunction in women include mental and physical exhaustion, especially after giving birth. Lack of sleep is also directly linked to decreased libido. Sex drive is harmed by mechanical, coarse and primitive sexual relations. Unfortunately, jokes about “ceiling contemplation” during sexual intercourse have an obvious basis. How long do women suffer from low sexual desire after having a baby? The rehabilitation period can last up to three years. But improvements are visible after 6 months. If after that period of time a woman still suffers from low libido I advise her to consult a sexologist, as this can lead to desactualisation of sex behavior (decreased meaning of sex in a person’s life) and partial loss of sexual skills. In such situations men withdraw in a shell, and sometimes (especially at age between 40 and 50) this process is irreparable. Some men find mistresses, complaining that their wives show neither attention nor love. The situation is especially tragic when men suggest living separately in the moment when his child needs both parents. Is it possible that both spouses feel tired from each other?

When people are not interested in each other, their sexual desire certainly disappears. It is really important to understand that one should care about his or her relationship with the spouse not only before the wedding but for life. If both partners understand that simple rule, they can save their marriage and enrich relationship. I have elaborated a special program, which is called “the second honeymoon”. According to my observations, a lot can be improved in time. I would even say, quite often couples confess, that their second honeymoon was better than the first one.

To reach an orgasm at all so it is simple - if you the woman! Almost all men without effort reach an orgasm with any partner, however women are arranged differently. However, the most regrettable at all it, and that to the overwhelming majority of men and women this fact remains to unknown persons.

Let's look to the truth in eyes - all books, films and in particular magazines for girls and women draw rather tempting picture, representing women constantly raised sexly attractive beings always ready to sex and without effort reaching orgasm. A problem that this representation at all does not correspond to the validity.

Therefore for the women mismatching this image, - that is for the majority - such divergence between the representation imposed to mass-media about the modern woman and a reality can appear rather painful.

The large quantity of young women worries because of own disability to reach an orgasm. However the matter is that, unlike men, the majority of women needs for it to study.

Results of our research testify that the majority of women manages to reach an orgasm only in some years after the beginning of a sex life.

If to you 20 - 30

Even in twenty and thirty years many women cannot catch an illusive dark blue bird of an orgasm. Today the majority of sexologists believe, that disability to reach an orgasm (or problems with orgasm achievement) should push the woman to «independent exercises».

Well, this obvious decision, however many women even remain today diffident enough openly to recognise, that are engaged in a masturbation, and consider itself guilty of something very shameful. Know: the masturbation helps to learn precisely, what pressure and a rhythm is necessary to you to reach an orgasm. In particular, you need to investigate own body precisely to learn, how to stimulate a clitoris.

Yes, the masturbation helps you to learn more about an orgasm, however it is important to remember what to indulge in love with itself the most important thing, in loneliness follows in the comfortable and relaxed situation, and. Education of love to own body and research of the female essence should cause only positive and pleasant sensations, and it is impossible, if someone is torn in your bedroom or a bathroom, demanding immediately to leave and be engaged in supper preparation!

Having learnt without effort to reach an orgasm, you can tell and show to the partner, what exactly is necessary for you to come to finish.

If to you for 30

By then, when to you for 30, 40 or 50 you should learn without effort to reach an orgasm - certainly, near to the loving and careful partner.

However it is not necessary to forget, that at the majority of women ability to reach an orgasm strongly depends on a menstrual cycle. For the woman normally to feel special sex excitation in the middle of a menstrual cycle. However, some women worry excitation peak directly ahead of the menses beginning. Others notice, that are absolutely not inclined to sex during some periods of a cycle. And all it is absolutely normal.

However, if to you for 30, and you can count orgasms on fingers of one arm, that time to address for the help to the expert - to the doctor-sexologist.

Orgasm types

Thanks to Freud, the father-founder of a psychoanalysis, among men there is a delusion as if vaginal orgasms are characteristic for mature women while clitoral orgasms are more extended among young women.

Now this opinion is denied. Many sexologists confirm today - and usual women with them are solidary - that the difference between a vaginal and clitoral orgasm is unknown to them.

As a rule, women cannot reach an orgasm without clitoris stimulation, whether it be in the course of the sex act or a masturbation.

On the other hand, some women are assured, that can "terminate" without any additional stimulation of a clitoris, and assert, that an orgasm source - a vagina. However many sexologists consider, that in the course of sex in any case there is a stimulation of a clitoris which is delayed from top to bottom or is triturated by a man's body.

Yes, also do not forget about a G-point. Some women worry especially bright orgasm at stimulation of this point (which you can find without assistance on a forward wall of a vagina). Really, many women who do not disregard the G-point, assert, that intensive orgasms at them are accompanied by an ejaculation. Therefore there are bases to consider, that except a vaginal and clitoral orgasm, there is also a G-point orgasm.

To attention of men: than to help the partner

• do not forget, that the majority of women requires clitoris stimulation. It is a part of a female body which would turn to a penis if women developed as the man - therefore the clitoris for the woman is not less important, than a penis for the man.
• Constantly remember, that love, the romanticist, tenderness and benevolent atmosphere very much raise the woman, and prepare for sex not less, than your passionate caresses and kisses.
• do not hasten.
• caress a breast of the darling - for some women of it enough Is more often to reach an orgasm.
• give to her oral pleasure. The majority of women adores oral sex (cunnilingus), and some even admit, that cannot reach the ending without oral caresses.
• do not hesitate to ask to show the partner what exactly is necessary for her.
• From time to time leave the initiative for the partner and arrange role games.
• If you will lose the control and will appear at finish before the partner, try to find forces on a kiss and caresses which will help her to reach too an orgasm.
• do not get tired to repeat to the darling, how much she is fine, sex and irresistible.

The conclusion

The orgasm - inexpressible sensation, the lawful award which expects everyone in the end of a sex marathon, however sometimes renders this prize unattainable - when you are strained, have got tired or are unhappy with the partner. If your intimate life is saddened by doubts, do not hesitate to address for the help to the expert.Female orgasm: the guidebook for women

Many mummies after childbirth experience difficulties with returning by a sexual life. These difficulties can be caused physiological processes, psychological unavailability of mother to renewal of sexual relations or is simple fears which can be overcome easily in dialogue with attitudes the person.

First of all, it is necessary to understand, that childbirth at each woman passes differently and leaves a certain print in her consciousness. After childbirth the body of the woman changes also. In the first 6 weeks after childbirth it is recommended to refrain from intimate relations, but, frequently, it is heavy to woman to return to it even after some months.

What can disturb young mum?

1. Dryness of a vagina. The quantity of natural greasing of a vagina essentially decreases at the expense of decrease in level of an estrogen. Especially test discomfort of the woman at which the menstrual cycle renews enough not soon as its renewal is closely connected with allocation of greasing substance.

2. Absence of desire to have sex. It is necessary for young mum to adapt for the new role, she very much gets tired in the first months. The organism of the woman is not adjusted on fast returning by a sexual life, it should not confuse you. The Prolactin - a motherhood hormone - now allows to concentrate only on the child. The organism "is occupied" by feeding of the kid and consequently frequently the unwillingness to have sex is connected with this "employment" (feeding and acquisition functions by following posterity - that is supported with our sexual desire - cannot be accepted as parallel, after all them different hormones operate).

3. A complex of an imperfect body. After childbirth time is necessary for mum physically to be restored. The woman can worry concerning the appeared tummy, flabbiness of a skin. Do not hurry to register in a sports hall! The organism now demands the careful relation though it at all does not mean, that you need to spend time laying in bed. There is a special complex of exercises which can be carried out already next day after childbirth.

4. Change of the relation from the husband. Quite explainable phenomenon. You can notice, that the loved man became more cautious, consecutive, does not wish once again you to disturb. To him now also it is difficult, as well as to you, to adapt to a new role. Allow loved to participate directly in process of care by the child - let he too comprehends this hard science. If the situation develops antithetically - read point 2 and discuss all arising questions with the husband.

5. Change of sensations from a touch to your breast - they can appear very pleasant, and there can be discomfort sensations. It especially individually.

6. The breast form during the period and after breastfeeding. Connection between change of the form of a breast and process of breastfeeding no more, than decided. The breast form does not depend on, whether you nurse and on what extent of time. The main role is played by elasticity of a skin of a breast. If in this question at you is on what to complain - refusal of feeding a situation will not correct. During the period mammary gland involutions fatty tissue again comes back, and the breast gets other form. It is necessary to remember, that on a breast condition the big influence is rendered by the organization of feeding. If mum feeds on hours, allows breasts to be overflowed, often is decanted, sharply stops to breastfeeding, quickly collects weight or sharply grows thin are the first steps to deterioration of the form of a breast.

7. Milk has escaped! During an orgasm you can arrange small milk "fireworks". Be not frightened, in it the hormone Oxytocin which is produced in considerable quantities during childbirth, in feeding by a breast and … during an orgasm is guilty.

In absence of sex it is very important to save close and confidential relations with your partner. The new little man has entered into your world, but it does not mean, that now you not so are necessary each other. Both the man, and the woman require approval and understanding from the loved man person. Psychological readiness for renewal of an intimate life of both spouses plays the most important role.

That it is necessary to know to breastfeeding mum

Be not surprised, if the sexual life undergoes changes, and you will feel, that sensations became absolutely others. Let's allocate the basic moments to which it is necessary to pay attention:

1. Take care of contraception if at you the cycle has renewed. It is necessary to remember, that the method of a lactational amenorrhea is applicable in a case when the child is on natural feeding (it is put to a breast on demand, does not receive water, to it of less than six months and intervals between feedings do not exceed 4 hours). In feeding of mum prefer following methods of contraception:

• Spermicides;
• The intrauterine device - is recommended after 6 weeks after childbirth and after consultation of the gynecologist
• Condom (if the menstrual cycle has renewed also mum does not test discomfort of absence of greasing of a vagina, otherwise it is possible to use special greasings - a lubricant).

If you had questions concerning a contraception choice - do not make the decision independently. Necessarily address to the gynecologist. For example, reception of the preparations containing an estrogen, can essentially lower milk.

1. If you are protected by a method of a lactational amenorrhea - it is possible to use a lubricant (for prevention of dryness of a vagina).
2. Probably, you should accept a role of the leading partner? It you will relieve the beloved of fear to cause to you a pain and can supervise over process, selecting the most convenient position.
3. Consider, that the kid can wake up any minute as in the first months he spends time most part in a superficial dream. Therefore it is necessary to use any possibility. Not less important, how much mum can relax and distract from essential problems that is a little problematic in the first months.
4. Not always from first days of renewal of a sex life you will start to feel pleasure. On separate interrogations of feeding mothers it was required to them more than a year again to learn to rejoice a sex life. 40 % of women established the fact what in due course to test an orgasm they in 2 times became more often.

Passions on a figure

And here you feel, that are already ready. The only thing that constrains and does not allow to be relaxed - your body. Many women run into depression at the sight of the drooped tummy, extensions and other "delights". And again you are ready to register in a sports hall and even to visit the plastic surgeon. Do not hurry up! With what it is necessary to begin?

The period of restoration after sorts is very important. Few women can brag to fast homing in former forms. Save calmness. Feeding by a breast now your very first assistant. At the expense of manufacture of Oxytocin the uterus will much fast return to a former condition. As you will longly feed, the organism will start to burn fats saved up in pregnancy. The women breastfeeding more of 9 months, grow thin much more effectively.

You can discuss with the instructor in restoration after childbirth special exercises. Practically you can find such expert in any Center of antenatal preparation.

For strengthening of muscles of a breast you can carry out special exercises: press-up from a wall, ball squeezing at breast level.

For strengthening of muscles of a vagina carry out Kegel’s exercise - reduce vagina muscles as it is possible more strongly, detain for 5 seconds and be relaxed. It is possible to do exercise throughout all day several times. It is possible to complicate a little it - present, that you lift the lift on the third floor, being late on 2-3 seconds on each floor. Then also slowly “lower the lift”.

For restoration of elasticity of a skin it is possible to take a contrast shower and to use special softening a cream (do not get unknown persons of a cream if in the instruction possibility of use in a lactation is not stipulated!)

Consult to the gynecologist about carrying of a postnatal bandage. Both antenatal, and the postnatal bandage does not need to be got independently on own discretion. First, bandage carrying should be always supported by certain indications. Secondly, many women who have got a postnatal belt, have declared, that so never it not dressed. Do not try to predict presence of a stomach after childbirth.

If you have started to be engaged in sports (thus necessarily having consulted to the doctor) remember, that physical activity can cause change of taste of milk (at the expense of a lactic acid clump), but after the lapse of an hour after employment smack is erased.

Don’t try to eat as much as possible, spending interrelation between quantity of produced milk and quantity of the eaten nutrition. These are absolutely untied among themselves concepts. The ration of feeding mum should be balanced, but you are not obliged to eat not so for a two, and days of limited intake of food of times in a week (it is possible to include low-calorie nutritionand sour-milk products) will not affect a breastfedding.

Search for pluses of your position! Now you - beautiful, womanly, unusual.

As though the woman did not feel itself after childbirth, nevertheless a birth of the baby - the biggest holiday in a married couple life. Even if the body looks absolutely in another way is after all naturally, you became mother!

For someone restoration process passes quickly, and for someone is stretched on a year. But your true female appeal and charm remain invariable. Moreover - they are increased greatly.

Do not lose a self-confidence, find a place to little female cunnings and your life never will seem boring, cares of the kid burdening, and a female body a subject of own shame.